Thanks again for all the welcomes.
As to what woke me up? It's really hard to put my finger on it. I think it was a gradual awakening, but unaware that i was actually waking up. I started reading here because the WT kept on saying not to and how bad apostates are. Wanted to see what the deal was. I would definatly say this site was important to me waking up. Not too sure if it would have happened on it's own otherwise.
Never really liked the idea of living in a paradise earth, the way the ORG portrayed it. the pictures always looked a bit creepy. The idea of living on a peaceful earth on the other hand really does appeal to me (obviously). But I never liked the way JWs would slam any organisation actually making an effort to make the world more peaceful. Never made any sense.
As i mentioned in my opening post, I felt and still do feel a massive sense of disillusionment with the whole thing. Along with not believing any of it anymore.
I have turned into one of those unreliable guys at the hall, where no one really knows if i'll turn up to anything. Not just to meetings and ministry, but in daily life that involves any JWs. I figured it's best to get removed for being unreliable and late (and things like this) as it won't compromise my position with my family.
Sorry for the long post.